Biddle was mowing the backyard of their Clearcreek Twp. residence when he spotted his wife, Jackie, smiling at him while standing on the deck.
She was wearing the jacket upside down and backward. He has saved that picture on his laptop for several years.
That was one occasion when Biddle realized his wife was suffering from Frontotemporal dementia (FTD), a common cause of dementia.
She was diagnosed in 2016 and died seven years later. She was 73.
For those years, Biddle cared for his wife with the help of their three children, Amy Knecht, 51, Jody Watkins, 49, and Brian, 48, with the help of Hospice Care of Middletown nurses and social workers.
On Mother’s Day, members of the Biddle family will participate in the 14th annual Mother’s Day 5K Run/Walk at Woodside Cemetery, a major fundraiser for Hospice Care of Middletown.
“I keep busy,” said Biddle, 75, an accomplished triathlete who’s riding in a bike race this weekend in North Carolina. “That’s the key for my survival.”
Besides the coat instance, he remembers the time his wife prepared dinner. She forgot to cook the frozen dinner.
Another time, he walked into the garage to get food out of the freezer, and there were stacks and stacks of the same meal.
He cooked and shopped for groceries from those days forward.
“You know where you are headed and you can’t stop it,” he said softly. “It was a slow, deteriorating 7.5 years.”
Biddle said his wife eventually lost her comprehension of time. One day around 1 p.m., they decided to eat dinner at 5 p.m. For the next four hours, his wife asked him 100 times when they were leaving.
“She lived in a constant presence,” he said. “The future was now.”
Then there was the day when Jackie asked her husband to brush her hair. “She couldn’t remember,” he said.
What a cruel disease.
After each “little loss,” Biddle said his grief “started a long time ago.”
They were married for more than 51 years, but toward the end of her life, Biddle said his wife didn’t know him.
When he talked about those one-way conversations, his voice cracked as he searched his living room for the right words.
“Sorry,” he said, again fighting back tears. “Grief is very interesting. You never know what will trigger it.”
He’s thankful for those years when he cared for his wife. He remodeled the house so her hospital bed could be placed in the family room where she could watch TV and see the fireplace.
“I got to experience what you would call ‘unconditional love,’” he said. “I appreciate the time I had.”
Beth Dorn, community liaison for Hospice , told Biddle that while his wife couldn’t communicate, she “certainly felt that love.”
Hospice helped care for Jackie the last year of her life. Biddle said he documented his wife’s medications and all her vital signs. He was a husband and a home care nurse.
He said Hospice provided “tremendous support” because the nurses had answers for every question.
“It’s a comfort to know you have expertise to call on,” he said. “Couldn’t have done it without them.”
On Mother’s Day, Biddle will run in memory of his wife who couldn’t walk toward the end of her life. He will think about her as he travels throughout the cemetery.
“She’s happy and healthy and free of pain,” he said.
And that jacket still hangs in the closet as a somber reminder of the disease with no cure.
HOW TO GO
What: 14th annual Hospice Care of Middletown Mother’s Day 5K Run/Walk
Where: Woodside Cemetery and Arboretum, 1401 Woodside Blvd, Middletown. Participant parking across the street at Rosa Parks Elementary School and Barnitz Stadium.
When: 8:30 a.m. May 12
How much: $15
For more information: Call Jenny Finch at 513-424-2273
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